Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Dmitri, in the Student Lounge, with the Candlestick

Since I’ve written about professors, it occurs to me I should probably write about classmates. They are people, too. And what better place to start than the international students? My class holds folks from all kinds of strange and exotic places…China, India, Russia, Brazil, Taiwan, Thailand, Wisconsin, Poland, Czech Republic, and Georgia (the country, not the peaches.) Granted, you have to sift through a lot of white bread like me to find them, but they’re there.

We’ll start with the Brazilian. Our resident Brazilian, Aline ((uh-LEE-nee) I have no idea how to spell things phonetically) is…well…you know that stereotypical view of Brazilian women as beautifully fit girls dancing around on Carnival floats? Aline does nothing to dispel this stereotype. So what type of man gets a lady like Aline? Two words. Pediatric Neurosurgeon. Her husband is a pediatric neurosurgeon. If I ever pull a George Costanza and lie about my career to impress strangers, I’m not going with architect, I’m going with pediatric neurosurgeon. You could introduce yourself by saying, “I’ve dedicated my life to saving children,” or “I’m a brain surgeon.” Either way, you’re golden. Pediatric vs. Marketing. Neuro vs. Data. Surgeon vs. Analyst. Every aspect of what he does is so much more impressive than every aspect of what I do. Grrrrrrrrrr.

Then there’s Dmitri, the Russian. He’s straight out of a Guy Richie movie. Best dressed guy in class by far. Jackets, hats, scarves, hip shirts…he’s got it all. Total slightly formal Eurochic. Just enough to make the every other guy in the class look like a complete no-style Neanderthal. I can’t decide if he’s a spy or an assassin. He's just too laid back. Too sophisticated. This is no MBA student. What’s more, I can’t decide who in the class he is spying on or planning to kill. I worry about David. Dmitri’s always sitting right behind him. If Dave goes missing and Dmitri suddenly drops out of class, remember that I called it.

Both Dmitri and Aline share the same two characteristics I find in every single international student. Super friendly and super smart. Without exception, I find this to be the case. It’s to the point that if you look like you’re from around here, I’m probably assuming you’re a little dim. That was a joke. But if you look you’re from around here and you’re wearing a Cowboys jersey, well…

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