So I need to write about Jen. She is my bff in the program. My bmbaf, I suppose. And as long as I’m writing about Jen, I need to write about Jessie. One of my other MBA friends. These ladies are hags. Hot Accountant Girls. It’s a very interesting phenomenon. I discovered it in my undergraduate career. Accountant women are just knockouts. A dozen years ago in my undergrad it was Allison and Stacy. Now it’s Jen and Jessie. Even the one MACC (Masters of Accounting) student I know, Lauren, is crazygorgeous. Yes, I meant that as one word. God’s cruel joke, really. Their poor boyfriends. Sure, someday your wife will be beautiful. But eventually you have to ask her about her day. Then it’s “debit” this and “credit” that. Oy. Talk about a Catch 22. Listening to that’s gotta be a kick in the teeth. I’ll take the homely sportscaster or peg-legged brewmaster any day.
I kid.
Jen (the blonde) and Jessie (the brunette) are phenomenal individuals, really. Jen heads up the MBA Womens Association. I don’t know the exact name of her group and I don’t care. Ouch. That wasn’t nice. I suppose I’m bitter because she picked the one group I can’t join. Where I’m persecuted for my parts. Some bmbaf she turned out to be. Jessie put together an MBA Wasatch Back Team. The Wasatch Back is a 24 hour relay super marathon race thingy. If you like running up mountains in the middle of the night, boy howdy, does Jessie have just the thing for you.
Anywho, point is, they’re awesome little overachievers. Which comes to why I hate my classmates. They’re all awesome little overachievers. They keep showing up to class in suits and pantsuits. I know what they’re up to. Interviews. Jobs…internships…silently, they’re snatching them all up. I learned to stop asking about their plans for the summer. It’s depressing. “I’m interning at Goldman’s.” “I’m splitting time between a couple of startups.” “I’m going to China for a month and then coming back to chair the Fed.” Jerks. I should be working on that.
I register for classes tomorrow. One mandatory management course, a field study, two finance courses, and two information systems courses. Did I mention I’m in marketing? Hm. Not a whole load of marketing in that line-up. Isn't college the time for experimentation? It's Prof. Schaefer’s fault. The finance course I took from him was just a gateway course leading to harder, more dangerous finance courses. My HP 12c calculator is basically paraphernalia. It’s an after school special, really.
Made-Up MBA word of the week…”depercentalize”. English majors, we ain’t. We can thank Dan for that gem.
So here I am, sitting in a PMBA 4 hour night class...ugh....and decide to google that infamous DESB blog. I was curious. I had heard that Tony had written some very witty, very clever entries about my professors, classmates, and other MBA eccentricities.
ReplyDeleteI am hooked.
Tony: I know that you don't want the word to get out about this because you want to still be able to write about us, but I'm now a regular. Here's a topic to look into: Dan and Furries. 'Nuf said.
p.s. "71 Second Ave" = "sam"
ReplyDeleteOh, Tony... If you do a truncated assessment of your first year of MBA school, I think you'll find immeasurable value in what you've learned so far. You are a niche offering to just the right employer, where you will monetize, operationalize, and synergize the best practices that you've learned to make a seamless transition into an internship.
ReplyDeleteSo there are barriers to entry in regards to the job market, but I have faith that your agile approach to life will allow you to quickly assess and adjust to any roadblocks you find in your way. Capitalize on the network effects of your connections, in addition to as many buzz words as you can possibly fit in. The right opportunity will materialize.